Maraudical Tales of Epic Awesomeness
by SiriusBlack345
Summary: Hilarious tales of James and Sirius's frienship. Based on real-life events.


**Disclaimer: HP, not ours**

**A/N: Hi! This is written by me and my friend, UndesirableNo.5 All of these chapters are going to be based on real-life situations of myself (Padfoot) and 5 (Prongs). We hope you like it!**

Chapter 1: Dying and Spazzing

Sirius Black was on his way from the common room to his dormitory when he heard a horrible sound. It sounded like a mixture of a dying cat, horse, and owl. He ran up the stairs, faster now, to make sure everything was OK.

"Prongs, are you in here? Is everything okay?" Sirius exclaimed running into the dorm, wand in the ready.

"Yeah, everything's fine Pads, why do you ask?" James turned around from the mirror he was looking at, to face Sirius. Sirius was suspicious. Why did James have hairbrush in his ? Everyone knew that Potter hair was untameable, and brushes were of no use.

After a minute a silence, James turned back to the mirror. And the sound came again. It was in an unusually high-pitched, off tune voice. Sirius could only make out the words, 'chills,' 'supplyin,' and 'electrifyin.' He quickly covered his ears and put his hands over James's mouth.

"What in the name of Merlin's disco-style dress robes was that?" he asked, flabbergasted.

"I'm practicing a song for Lily," James said, handing Sirius a song sheet before returning to his performance.

Sirius took a look at the piece of parchment:

: I got chills.  
>They're multiplyin'.<br>And I'm losin' control.  
>'Cause the power<br>you're supplyin',  
>it's electrifyin'!<p>

...

You're the one that I want.  
>(you are the one i want), o,o, oo, honey.<br>The one that I want.  
>(you are the one i want want), o,o,oo, honey.<br>The one that I want  
>(you are the one i want want), o,o, ooooo<br>The one I need.  
>Oh, yes indeed.<p>

"Well, if you sing that, then all she's gonna sing back is "Highway to Hell,'' because she'd rather be in hell than here listening to _that._ No offense, mate," he said. James just shrugged. "We'll work on the singing later, but first, she's never going to be impressed if you just stand there," he said.

James looked confused. "Er, should I sit, then?" he asked.

"No, Prongsie, No!" Sirius exclaimed impatiently. "You must learn the wonderful art of dance," Sirius said.

"But Padfoot, I can't dance," James whined.

"Well, lucky for you, I happen to be a dance master. Watch and learn, my young Padawan," Sirius said, making James sit on the bed, while he stood in the middle of the room.

Sirius began to "raise the roof," and shake his hips, while James diligently took notes.

"Remember James, you want to make sure you get those scrawny arms of yours up real high. Oh, and make sure you make nice round circles with your hips," he said.

James scribbled some more, then stood up and mimicked Sirius.

"Bigger circles, Prongs, come on now!'' Sirius encouraged. James put on a very serious face and concentrated on rotating his hips. "Well done, my friend," Sirius praised.

Sirius next dared to do what was only done by the brave—the running man. This consisted of him running in place, while punching outward. After doing this for a minute or two, (while James was taking notes, of course), he began to repeat this, while turning in circles. "Ready to try, my friend?" James nodded enthusiastically. "OK, remember to keep your feet flat and your hands tight in fists," he explained. James stood up and copied Sirius's moves.

Next, Sirius began to do odd pelvic thrusts, while grabbing at his butt sporadically.

"Now, what is that move called? And do I grab the butt with my right or left hand? Or both?" James asked, parchment and quill in hand.

"Oh, er, that wasn't a dance move. Just had to pick a wedgie," Sirius admitted. "Anyway, you are doing splendidly, young grasshopper. Lily will be yours in a matter of seconds. Now let's work on the singing once more. Repeat after me. La la la la la la la," he demonstrated. Once James did it right, which took several times (the first few sounding like a banshee on the loose), James began singing and dancing, hairbrush in hand, while Sirius was dancing to 'remind' James of the newly-taught dance moves.

The two of them were in full swing when the door opened. Remus Lupin entered the dorm, witnessed the production, shook his head, and promptly turned around and left.

**A/N: Please review! It means a lot. **

**The song is "You're the One That I Want" by John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John.**


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